Fake Book Covers #1: The South Will Upload Again

In a conversation about writing motivation, I disclosed that my best One Weird Trick is designing fake book covers for my stories. Even if the story in question is 200 words long. I love it because for me, 1) graphic design is low-stress creative fun, and 2) covers are creative affirmation.

Naturally, Spousal Unit chose that moment to wander by and complain that I wasn’t presenting evidence for my claim. Well, designing my own covers is somewhat narcissistic, so I’m not going to release them. Everyone keeps a secret garden; those are buried in mine.

But fear not, I will do you one better.

A few years ago a friend of both myself and Spousal Unit emailed us with, “Hey you read a lot of SF. I once read this book and I can’t remember the title. Maybe you guys can help me find it? Here’s the plot …”

And my friends, it was amazing. Far superior to anything I have ever conceived.

“it’s in the southern us, and people are searching for a great general robert lee (but it turns out to be a chinese robert lee) w/ a chicken against central planners controlling an entrepreneurial computer personality that founded a rebellious transport company.”

So this was inevitable. I’m particularly proud of the gold bezel lettering.

Art credits: Robert E. Lee painting by Daniel Dos Santos / Spaceship is from Futurama by Matt Groening / Chicken is from The Curse of Monkey Island by LucasArts / Photoshopping was done by yrs truly

We sent it off to him with a note indicating a helpful librarian had located a candidate book and scanned the cover, could he confirm or deny that this was the right story?

He took it well, although to this day I remain convinced that it was all a dream. But hey, you never know, so hit me up.

Snow Country, U.S. edition

Efficient people: move to Colorado, buy Subaru, bike everywhere.
Me: move to Colorado, try not to wipe out in Camry, live too far to bike to work so drive everywhere, give up. Leave Colorado for Maryland, buy a Subaru, bike everywhere.

And the day after purchasing the car, IĀ ordered some wool socks and merino leggings.

Spousal Unit: What are you going to do, turn on the a/c in the Subaru while wearing them?

Now, because I have a very poor sense of direction, the household joke/diagnosis is that I live in my own personal TARDIS. I usually only get lost in space, but you could argue that in this instance, I’ve once again* gotten lost in time and I was actually buying all these things two years ago in Colorado, when they would have been much more useful.

* So there was also the incident when we were trying to go to a museum of classical art in Moscow, and I somehow navigated us to a modern art museum. Artistic satire in the form of a Stalinist-era golden toilet stall is really something, let me tell you.